


Going and Gone

by BookwormG



Category: EXO
Genre: M/M, Sehun - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 21:15:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11722698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookwormG/pseuds/BookwormG





	Going and Gone

"Eh, Sehun-ah. Where are you going?" Chanyeol looked up from his phone to see the maknae dressed in a dark blue hoodie and sunglasses. The normal attire for an idol who doesn't want to be spotted when leaving his dorm.

"Out." Sehun muttered, curling his hands into fists in his pockets, gripping his phone tightly. "I'll be back before dinner." Was his curt answer before he unlocked the door and shuffled out. Chanyeol shrugged and returned his full attention to his phone, ignoring the maknae's strange behaviour.

Once he was out of the dorm, Sehun wore his hoodie, making him completely unrecognisable. He snuck a furtive glance around him before walking towards a hidden clearing that only he and Luhan knew. As he walked, he felt his heart beat faster and faster, each beat resonating within him. His hands were clenched in his pockets as he felt himself get nervous at the very prospect of meeting...him, Luhan. (It's a fact that Sehun doesn't use honorifics with Luhan)

It has been a week since Luhan had left EXO and Sehun felt so empty since then. Like a half empty cup, it was there but something was missing, from it, from everything. He missed everything, the times when he would go over to EXO-M's dorm to talk to Luhan about his day. The moments when Luhan would suggest buying bubble tea to make everything better and the times when they, bubble tea in hand, would just talk. Just talk about anything and everything.

The sneaky kisses, the sudden hugs and the shared beauty of each moment. Sehun made sure to treasure all of them, even the bad ones because every memory was precious. It wasn't infatuation or anything, what they had was real, good and pure. It wasn't perfect but yet, it was everything. 

-flashback-

Luhan crept into the dorm room of his sleeping boyfriend, tip toeing to ensure he wouldn't wake the younger. It was early in the morning, soft yellow light filtered into the room in warm rays, shining on Sehun's sleeping form. 

The others were out to 'give you lovebirds some time to yourselves' and Luhan wasn't regretting it. He quickly found himself at the side of the younger's bed, hesitating to wake him. 

He smiled as he watched Sehun sleep, chest rising and falling to the calm rhythm of his breaths. His hair was mussed and gave Sehun a perfect bedhead. The colour of his hair contrasting beautifully with his skin, pale and pretty.

"Are you done watching me sleep, Edward?" Sehun smirked as he mimicked the Twilight star's breathy tones.

Luhan let out a squeal of embarrassment when he was caught, clasping his hands over his mouth tightly. Sehun's now open eyes twinkled mischievously as he sat up, running a hand through his hair. 

"You little..." Luhan shook his fist in mock anger as Sehun shrugged his shoulders before allowing his voice to turn husky again. 

"Too bad, Hunnie."

Sehun let a tiny smile creep on his face as he took Luhan in. The elder was still in sleeping attire, which was just boxers and that inhuman V shaped waist line was showing. He quickly grabbed the elder by his waist and yanked him gently towards him. 

Sehun smirked as Luhan let out a squeak, hugging him tightly. Luhan's cheek pressed firmly against Sehun's bare chest, fitting snugly. Sehun smiling as Luhan snuggled into his chest, loving the presence of the other. 

They just stayed like that for a while, loving the warmth and safety of themselves together.

It didn't last. 

The warmth. 

The safety. 

Them. 

-end flashback- 

Sehun felt himself tear up and closed his eyes for a second, letting a tear slide down his cheek. Suddenly, a hand reached over and wiped the tear away before adjusting Sehun's sunglasses lovingly. Sehun blinked his eyes before raising his head to look at the person, almost about to scold them for touching him when...

"Don't cry, Sehun," Luhan smiled softly at the younger. He patted Sehun's shoulder softly, blatantly aware of the awkwardness that was quickly settling in. Sehun was silent, smiling behind his mask, he just gazed deep into the other's dark brown orbs, willing himself to be lost in them. 

"You're here." 

Luhan nodded at Sehun, scratching his hair before responding. "I'm always here..." With those words, everything went downhill. Sehun felt his stomach twist as he let anger overtake him, drive him.

"You're not. You left." Sehun let bitterness enter his tone. "I have nobody to talk to, nobody to be there." Sehun then remembered his agony, his sadness, wrenching at his heart and the day when Luhan left and channeled his anger. 

"Don't even try to explain!" Sehun hissed when he saw Luhan open his mouth. He ripped the sunglasses off his face, revealing the tears he had kept hidden before continuing. "Did you even care how I felt? Do you? I TOLD YOU I WOULD SUPPORT YOU AND HELP YOU, OR WERE YOU DEAF? I WATCHED YOU PACK YOUR THINGS AND LEAVE! YOU IGNORED ME!" 

Luhan wore a pained expression on his face, his eyes darkened with worry. "Sehun..." He reached over to try comfort him, only to have his hand slapped away. He felt his own eyes fill with the tears and emotion he had held in. "Please...listen..." Luhan's eyes matched Sehun's red rimmed ones but they were weren't looking at each other.

"You think I wanted this?" Luhan's voice cracked as he let the tears spill over onto his clear skin. "You think I wanted to leave? You, of all people know that I couldn't stay! OR WERE YOU NOT LISTENING? I TOLD YOU EVERYTHING BUT YOU WERE TOO BUSY COMPLAINING ABOUT YOURSELF! YOU ARE THE ONE WHO'S DEAF!"

Luhan lowered his head to look at Sehun, expecting something. Instead, the younger was glaring with so much hatred and hurt that if looks could kill, Luhan would have died there and then. He furiously wiped his tears and turned around. "I can't do this anymore, I'm leaving...you." Sehun started to walk away,  biting his lip as he tried to hold back his sobs.

Luhan wanted to tell Sehun wait, that he was wrong, that they could work something out but as he watched Sehun's retreating figure, all he did was watch, tears streaming down his face. His world came crashing down on him, shattering his heart into pieces. "Don't go..." Luhan whispered but Sehun was too far away.

"I'm...sorry..." Luhan sighed out, breathless as his shoulders shook as he gasped for air, only for it to be forced out to say, "Sehun...I'm sorry..." to the empty air.

...

Meanwhile, Sehun was walking away, never turning back. He shoved the mask and sunglasses on, hiding his tear stained face. He couldn't go back to the dorm now, he looks a mess. He just can't tell anyone, not even Suho, it was just all so...personal. His chest hurts, as if someone had cut it open and torn his heart to pieces. As if...Luhan was the one who did it to him. 

"No...You did the right thing, it's Luhan's fault. You did the the right thing...to leave!" Sehun clenched his teeth as he spoke to himself, not bothering to wipe the tears staining his face. But if he did the right thing and if it really was Luhan's fault, then why did it hurt so much?

Instinctively, Sehun started walking to his favourite bubble tea shop, hoping that it would soothe his troubles the way it did before. He quickly stepped into the small shop and ordered his chocolate bubble tea 'to go'. 

He then sat at a table next to the window, looking out into the scenery. As he saw the world through his dark, tinted lens, he heard one of the waitresses say, "Here you go Sir, your Taro bubble tea." His eyes widened as he remembered something of the past, the memory etched in stone.

-flashback-

"Taro. Bubble. Tea." Sehun repeated disbelievingly as he look at Luhan's innocent face. "Really?" Sehun took a sip of his bubble tea, giving the elder's lavender coloured drink a judging look. 

"Shut up. You've seen me order this all the time and you're noticing it now?" Luhan retorted, slurping the drink greedily. He pouted, puffing his cheeks up adorably while sticking a tongue out at the younger.

Sehun smiled, making sure that he was capturing everything in this moment. He thought it was the most cutest face he's seen. (Other than his own) Maybe it was the atmosphere or something but Sehun felt that today was going to be different, somehow. A good different, something comforting.

"What do you mean by 'a good different'?" Luhan raised an eyebrow as he sipped his tea. Sehun's eyes widened when he realised his mistake before shrugging it off. He tried to make an innocent face at Luhan, hoping to distract him. 

"Cute." Luhan mumbled, chewing on the pearls thoughtfully. Sehun scoffed and tickled him, making the other double over in laughter. "My...bubble...tea..." he gasped between laughs. Sehun couldn't help it, the next few words just slipped past his lips.

"I really like you."

Silence.

"What did you say, Oh Sehun?" Luhan cocked his head to the side, cheeks dusted a light pink.

"Um..." Sehun blushed a deep crimson, shoving one of his hands in his pockets while increasing his grip on his cup of bubble tea. 

"You're not kidding right?" Luhan stared deeply into Sehun's brown eyes. Sehun's breath hitched and he swore his heart stopped. 

Their eyes met and before they knew it, they were kissing. It wasn't like anything they've felt before because it felt so familiar and so good. The taste of Taro and chocolate and everything. For that one moment, he felt that everything would be alright, that everything would be perfect.

He drew back and smiled at the elder, who was now blushing hard. "Hunhan." Luhan laughed, putting an arm around Sehun.

Sehun smirked as he bit his lip, "Again?"

"Again."

-flashback end-

"Sir, your chocolate bubble tea. Enjoy!" 

Sehun nodded as he pulled himself out of his memory. He paid the cashier and took his bubble tea, deciding to go for a walk to cool himself down. As the familiar taste of chocolate invaded his tastebuds, he noticed that the comforting feeling he was hoping would come wasn't there, replaced by the normal cold chocolate.

Maybe the comfort wasn't from the tea itself but the memories. Sehun sighed as he recalled every memory, every feeling that he had thought the tea gave when it was all from...Luhan. He sighed, murmuring quietly to himself, "People say you don't know what you've got until it's gone but truth is, I knew what I had, I just..." he sucked in a painful breath, "Never thought I'd lose it."

Just then, he heard the honking of a horn and before he knew it, darkness and pain overwhelmed him and he fell. With Luhan's name leaving his lips like a silent prayer.

...

Luhan was wiping his eyes furiously, hating his tears and hating what his relationship had become. To call it true love would be cheap and cliche but that was exactly what it was. True love. It's funny how these two small words could mean nothing to some but could make others lost in themselves. 

True love, was...what was true love to him? True love was the times he always enjoyed with Sehun, all the little gestures, kisses and fights. Luhan always noticed the little gestures, the small ways Sehun showed love. The brushing of fingertips when they walked, the adoring gazes Sehun gave him when he thought he wasn't looking and secret gifts they would take turns to trade under their pillows. Luhan loved them, he loved it all.

Kisses were, well, they were kisses. Well, not really. It was never just on the lips or the cheek, those were meant to be very special. Instead, there were fond pecks on the forehead or the wrist, often initiated by himself. Sometimes, they would just hold hands, fingers intertwining perfectly as if they were made for each other.

Fights were something he didn't exactly adore but was part and parcel to their relationship. This time, it went too far. Luhan held his head in his hands, the pain in his heart increasing as the time passed. True love...he had felt it and embraced it wholeheartedly but the pain that came with it, that was his mistake. True love, he decided, isn't true love if it comes with pain but he imagined Sehun, walking away, he knew he wanted nothing more but for him to come back. 

He wanted to turn back time to when they loved.

-flashback-

"Dear Sehun, 

I know you've been busy for a while with Junmyeon bugging you recently about practising for the comeback. We barely have time to talk now. It's okay though, we knew what we signed up for right? Kris is also being more demanding, the grouch. 

I'm so tired with all the practise I have to do so I can only imagine how you feel. It'll pass, soon the leaders will chill down a little after the comeback. Well, hopefully. 

I miss you. Because of practise, I can't really talk to you and I don't want to bother you. You reading this Sehun? I miss you. So much. 

Love, Luhan"

Sehun smiled as he read the letter aloud, to the elder's shock. He looked up at his Hyung, eyes shining as he gave Luhan a big movie style hug, spinning him round as he lifted the very light singer from the ground. 

"Me too..." Sehun said as he planted a chaste kiss on Luhan's cheek, much to the other members in the room's disgust. 

"No PDA in front of everybody!" Suho scolded before accidentally getting knocked in the head by Chanyeol, who was hugging Baekhyun fiercely. 

"Gah, just shut up, half of EXO is as gay as shit anyway." Kyungsoo exclaimed as Kai leaned over to rub his cheek against his.

Luhan shook his head as he watched Sehun react to the spectacle before them, lips curled in laughter. His stomach filled with butterflies as he watched the younger, admiring him from every angle. He wanted to pick him up again to show the world that, this, this was, his. 

Sehun was his then. 

But he wasn't now.

-flashback end-

Luhan shook his head and continued to walk, hands shoved deep in his pockets. He raised his head, only to see a crowd of people gathering around the road, looking shocked. Luhan scowled at them, shuffling around the edge of the crowd which had spilled onto the pavement, not wanting to see any blood after witnessing a painful event himself. As he passed, he caught a glimpse of a blue hoodie as dark as night...

"No..." Luhan exhaled as he drew closer to the crowd. "It's not...no it can't be..." Luhan quickened his pace when he heard a girl exclaim, "It's EXO's Sehun?!" 

Luhan's heart sunk as he started pushing his way through the crowd. "Out of the way! Please, let me through!" He pushed his way through, blood roaring in his ears.

When he made his way through the crowd, a horrendous sight greeted him. Blood was all over the ground, colouring it a bright red. The car stood in the background, a spatter of red over its hood. There, in the middle of the bloodbath, was Sehun. 

The younger was lying so still, bathing in his own blood. Blood was pouring viciously from a large wound on his torso. His face was the epitome of calm, unlike the seriousness of his injuries. Luhan immediately ran forward, sneakers splashing in the blood.

"Sehun!" His voice rang out, echoing despite the fact that there were people around. 

For now, it was just him and Sehun.

His arms wrapped around Sehun, placing his head on his lap. Luhan stroked the soft hair on his head lovingly as he felt for a pulse. He pressed his fingers firmly against Sehun's bloody wrist and hoped. 

He hoped. 

But there was nothing. 

No pulse came to him. No throbbing that showcased that Sehun was alive. 

"Sehun... please... PLEASE!" Luhan felt those stupid tears fall onto his cheeks like a string of unbroken pearls. His hand travelled from the wrist to Sehun's face, cupping it softly in his hands before running a thumb over the pale smooth skin. 

Nothing. 

He was gone. 

Luhan knew it. 

He bent down slowly and gave Sehun a parting kiss, letting his tears fall on the still body and onto the ground, diluting the blood. What was once plush and warm was still and cold. 

"I love you."

He gathered himself and tried to walk away but just as he did, he saw it. 

A cup of chocolate bubble tea, on the ground, its contents spilling out and mingling with the blood. 

Luhan couldn't anymore. 

He broke down in tears. 

...

A year later, if you walked past the graveyard, you will see a man standing at a marble white tombstone covered in flowers. He will smile forlornly as he removes a cup and clears a small space in the middle for his own gift. 

When he leaves, you will see it.

A cup of chocolate bubble tea surrounded by flowers on the grave, with a note that says...

"I'm sorry."


End file.
